The name ‘pins and needles’ was originally the branding brainchild for a magazine that Hannah and I dreamt of creating over three years ago now. We were majorly inspired by Darling magazine, one of my all time favorite publications whose goal is to showcase the often undervalued complexity of women. Hannah and I had so many conversations over overpriced lattes, venting about feeling trapped by the stagnant state of our lives. And honestly it was these shared, angsty feelings, coupled with our desire to create, that prompted this passion project. I will never forget the feeling in my chest that night at the bookstore in Echo Park as sparks flew and lightbulbs went off between us. The more we brainstormed and sketched out ideas for the magazine (in our matching moleskine notebooks) the more possible it all felt. We left that night floating and eyes twinkling. It makes me emotional just thinking back to that time of endless possibilities. It should be noted that as we were driving home, still excitedly giggling about our magazine, we were headed up a slight hill and right as we reached the top bright red fireworks lit up the sky. Being the romantics that we are, we took that as a full blown sign that what we were brewing up was magical...also we definitely still talk about that moment all the time.
Pins and needles can be defined in two ways; the tingling sensation that you feel when you've not moved a part of your body for some time OR being in a state of anticipation. I think both definitions fit our vision while perfectly encapsulating how we were both feeling-- a little in-between, a little like pent up potential, a little stuck. Here we are almost four years later and while I can’t speak for Hannah, I feel almost exactly the same. Like my very own life gives me feelings of pins and needles. That might seem grim actually, but I hope you know what I mean. Just that my life isn't necessarily how I thought it would be and perhaps I’m still holding onto that childlike hope that some agent will whisk me away, signing me only after finding me dancing through the frozen section (I know some of you out there had this same fantasy at eight-years-old!). I don't know if I've gotten quite the same “sun in my tummy” emotion about any of my cReAtIvE ideas since that summer night with Hannah, but honestly writing for my own little website with the viewership of my friends and families comes the closest.
PS. Hannah, if you're reading this, I hope you don't mind that I borrowed our magazine name for my website!
1. I found this photo trying to timestamp when we came up with ‘pins and needles’, I took this picture to remember our first round table meeting for our budding magazine.
2. Hahahah okay first off. My car broke down. Mechanic told me to sell it for parts. I tried three different junk yards, all of them said nah. After getting rejected by JUNK YARDS, I finally found someone who would take it. Got 100 dollars for it. The most expensive lemon I ever did buy….
3. Working at Buffalo Exchange I have so many cute clothes and shoes and accessories to pick from (at a discounted price) that some of you may think, “wow Kylee probably is spending her whole paycheck on clothes”. But I am delighted to tell you that I am in fact rather picky with what I buy, which leads me to show you my pointless but very cute bracelet that I got. I mean c'mon it's got actually letters of encouragement in it!!
4. Bryan and I attended our first ever “work dinner”, we felt like babies as we talked amongst 38-55 year olds about their long and impressive careers and their children, some of which were our ages (literally one of their daughters names was Kylee lol). They really were so kind and lovely and I was so happy to finally meet the people Bryan works with. Later he told me that they thought I was Native American which I find pretty amusing, I think my long hair is throwing people off my already ambiguous ethnic identity.
5. Corn dogs are so good, how did I ever forget this.
6. He gets me! **Also this type of cute feetsies shall now be referred to as plop foot.
thx for catching up