Updated: Nov 30, 2020

The name ‘pins and needles’ was originally the branding brainchild for a magazine that Hannah and I dreamt of creating over three years ago now. We were majorly inspired by Darling magazine, one of my all time favorite publications whose goal is to showcase the often undervalued complexity of women. Hannah and I had so many conversations over overpriced lattes, venting about feeling trapped by the stagnant state of our lives. And honestly it was these shared, angsty feelings, coupled with our desire to create, that prompted this passion project. I will never forget the feeling in my chest that night at the bookstore in Echo Park as sparks flew and lightbulbs went off between us. The more we brainstormed and sketched out ideas for the magazine (in our matching moleskine notebooks) the more possible it all felt. We left that night floating and eyes twinkling. It makes me emotional just thinking back to that time of endless possibilities. It should be noted that as we were driving home, still excitedly giggling about our magazine, we were headed up a slight hill and right as we reached the top bright red fireworks lit up the sky. Being the romantics that we are, we took that as a full blown sign that what we were brewing up was magical...also we definitely still talk about that moment all the time.

Pins and needles can be defined in two ways; the tingling sensation that you feel when you've not moved a part of your body for some time OR being in a state of anticipation. I think both definitions fit our vision while perfectly encapsulating how we were both feeling-- a little in-between, a little like pent up potential, a little stuck. Here we are almost four years later and while I can’t speak for Hannah, I feel almost exactly the same. Like my very own life gives me feelings of pins and needles. That might seem grim actually, but I hope you know what I mean. Just that my life isn't necessarily how I thought it would be and perhaps I’m still holding onto that childlike hope that some agent will whisk me away, signing me only after finding me dancing through the frozen section (I know some of you out there had this same fantasy at eight-years-old!). I don't know if I've gotten quite the same “sun in my tummy” emotion about any of my cReAtIvE ideas since that summer night with Hannah, but honestly writing for my own little website with the viewership of my friends and families comes the closest.

PS. Hannah, if you're reading this, I hope you don't mind that I borrowed our magazine name for my website!

Some Thoughts:

1. I found this photo trying to timestamp when we came up with ‘pins and needles’, I took this picture to remember our first round table meeting for our budding magazine.

2. Hahahah okay first off. My car broke down. Mechanic told me to sell it for parts. I tried three different junk yards, all of them said nah. After getting rejected by JUNK YARDS, I finally found someone who would take it. Got 100 dollars for it. The most expensive lemon I ever did buy….

3. Working at Buffalo Exchange I have so many cute clothes and shoes and accessories to pick from (at a discounted price) that some of you may think, “wow Kylee probably is spending her whole paycheck on clothes”. But I am delighted to tell you that I am in fact rather picky with what I buy, which leads me to show you my pointless but very cute bracelet that I got. I mean c'mon it's got actually letters of encouragement in it!!

4. Bryan and I attended our first ever “work dinner”, we felt like babies as we talked amongst 38-55 year olds about their long and impressive careers and their children, some of which were our ages (literally one of their daughters names was Kylee lol). They really were so kind and lovely and I was so happy to finally meet the people Bryan works with. Later he told me that they thought I was Native American which I find pretty amusing, I think my long hair is throwing people off my already ambiguous ethnic identity.

5. Corn dogs are so good, how did I ever forget this.

6. He gets me! **Also this type of cute feetsies shall now be referred to as plop foot.

thx for catching up


Updated: Sep 20, 2020

Hi! Okay so i know this is pretty random and you're probably confused as to why you clicked on some scrappy, mostly-blank website. Allow me to explain:

At the beginning of this year, i had the most downtime i had ever experienced since 2013. When i moved down to SD it was the first time in what felt like forever that i wasn't being pulled in all directions, by work, school, a long distance boyfriend, family obligations, etc. i wish i could say that i did all of the things, read all the books, pinterested all the crafts, finally got my middle splits, but for a good two months i drank lots of kombucha, watched over 90 movies, and spent two hours at the gym everyday and the rest in bed. I think i needed to get all of that out before i felt like i could be productive..almost like i needed to exhale two months of laziness and gluttony.

Since then, we have entered in uncharted pandemic territory and i have dabbled in a little bit of everything, from graphic design to ballet to coding .i first made this website, not entirely sure what i would do with it, only knowing that it was fun to design and daydream about what kinds of things i could chronicle in my little, half-baked webpage. Im still not entirely sure what this is but i do know that i miss people. My people, especially. But im terrible at showing it and just keeping in touch in general. I wrote a bit about this on the “about” page, but really i just want this to be a fun way to keep you all updated and part of my life in a way that's interactive and offers, perhaps, a strange, yet  charming level of intimacy despite the distance between us. You can expect a biweekly (maybe?) update of what's happening in my little world, from big events to funny things ive seen driving from work. It’s outside of my comfort zone and a bit narcissistic, this whole thing, but i hope it cultivates connection and conversation that would have otherwise been undiscovered.

Some Thoughts: 

1. No joke, i have thought about this little pupper’s leg and foot situation nonstop (bryan can attest to this) .There is something about its clumsy connectedness that gets me; it gives me the same feeling when i see a chubby baby’s foot! Now that i think of it...this strange fascination just clarifies that i find this particular stage of foot/paw development-- the one where they have a fully formed foot, but it's not quite ready to take on a set of stairs or rugged terrain-- in both babies and puppies so cute and funny. 

2. This is the worst name for what i can only assume is a frozen yogurt place that i pass on my way to work. 

"yogurt on the rocks"

3. In the past few weeks i have watched a few adam sandler movies. 50 First Dates is still the best one hands down, change my miiiind!!

4. I don’t really have the supplies (or motivation, lets be honest) to create very often. Yeah yeah, i know i sound like a part-time struggling artist part-time barista from echo park complaining about not being able to connect to any good vibes that inspire their artistic journey...but, i have realized recently how good it feels to tap into that creative mindset! When i made this cheese board to surprise bryan with, i felt a little of that creative spirit jump in me. I find it really exciting that anything can be a form of art. 

5. Listen to “where is my mind” by the Pixies. It’s the end song in Fight Club and for some reason has made a resurgence in my life playlist. 

thx for catching up

kb <3